it's hard sometimes

Eva has been quite sick the past week or so. It started as a virus and now is wicked asthma which is really annoying her especially at night and making her recovery really slow. She is really wheezy and has started vomiting again. Andrew and I had a brief consultation about whether to go to hospital but I think she maybe over the worst. Once upon a time we would take Eva immediately to the ED because she always needed oxygen and more often than not a drip for a few days. These days we aren't in such a hurry, she copes much better and we have more of an idea (and loads more confidence) on how to treat her at home which is best all round. The downside is that I have basically had her in my arms from morning till night, even taking a shower is miserable experience for her, she just stands outside the glass door crying at me till I get out. It is really exhausting and I am feeling a wee bit burnt out.

Yesterday whilst Andrew was home I managed to do a tiny project just for some relief and space. I made Siena a Nintendo DS pouch. It's super cute.



Siena picked the purple cord but really objected to floral closure (um, hello, it's Alexander Henry!!) it was "too girly" for her liking. Don't I remember that she "is NOT a girly girl". She used it anyway and this morning for the photo I found her Nintendo safely tucked away in it's new bed!

Being a mum sometimes is just so difficult, not being able to please everyone even though you try so hard can be really upsetting. I know that life just ebbs and flows and nothing ever stays the same, it's all just learning, right? I need to stop trying so hard to please the kids. They love me regardless, and I need to teach my children gratitude, one of the most important lessons they can learn. Not just gratitude for presents, but for the amazing life they have, a home, family, love, security.